I very rarely write blog posts about myself and my experiences. Sometimes I'll have a splurt when I'm on holiday at my home town and do a string of posts and other times things might come up where I'll do a splash insight here and there, but for the most part I concentrate largely on the world of dance, film and the arts and about everything that's happening out there. To me, the outside world seems to be far more interesting than little 'ol me...
Today I thought I'd start what will (hopefully) be a series of insights into my preparation(s) for the stage. In 63 days time I will be jumping on the plane and heading south to my home town. There, I will be reuniting with friends, family and my second home - my ballet school, the studio and then the stage. It's something I have most of the year thinking about and looking forward to. I have planned to go home for a visit in December since mid-year, but have been somewhat quiet and ambiguous about logistics - only a handful of people know of specific dates. I like to keep things low-key. As it gets closer and closer though, I can't help but feel rather jubilant and excited. It's getting to that time where before you go on holiday or an adventure you feel that heightened sense of joy. I am excited. As a kid anything to do with airplanes made me excited - it's that feeling that you are going somewhere and you get to experience something new - it's the travel bug. It always seems to hit despite the fact that most of my travel recently has been interstate. It's still nice to go through the motions of packing your suitcase, going to the airport, checking in - even waiting (sometimes) for boarding can be fun. Yes, yes...I enjoy airports thoroughly. It's a great place to people-watch and you're never really quite bored in a place like that....unless of course, you get stuck or inconvenienced and then there are only so many red wines that you can have to numb the frustration!!!
I will have to make the most out of the next 63 days. Never one for going on stage unprepared, I need to make sure I know what I'm doing, make sure that any technical flaws can be hidden or masked (yes that's very naughty but I think you get to a certain age where you just learn to hide anything that's not flattering) and make sure my body is "presentable" (ie. aesthetically pleasing - so any wobbly bits need to either shrink or tighten in 63 days). 63 days....

Normally, I would have the luxury of being immersed in ballet 24/7, where I could dance an hour or two every night at the studio (or in the morning if I had the opportunity), go for that run, go to the gym, live and breathe preparation every day. Unfortunately...a full-time job and responsibilities as an "adult" (suddenly I cringe at the thought - surely I'm still a kid????) means that I cannot dedicate my entire being to preparing myself. If I don't get up at 5am and go for that run or do that morning class, the opportunity will have been lost for the day as in the afternoon it is not always guaranteed I will break away from work on time - something that infuriates me....how one can wake up and suddenly find themselves at the office after leaving that environment the evening before...is there any waking moment during the week when you are not there?? I waste an awful lot of time in my car too - traffic and travelling between A and B takes up such valuable time. So even if I do get away on time, there's something weird that happens to me in the car on the way home from work - it's almost like I get a heavy dose of lethargy and lax and by the time I make it home I'm way to tired, cranky and lazy to go out and exercise. How irritating??
So it's a tough slog and it feels very sporadic - very broken - not routinely at all and its almost like you can't focus solely on dance, there's just so many other things that get in the way or act as distractions. So it'll be very interesting in 63 days time where I'll be at in terms of physical fitness and where I will be emotionally - sometimes emotionally and psychologically it becomes more demanding to centre that aspect of oneself than it is coming to terms with the amount of preparation that you have done for your body. I seem to get better and better at psyching myself out the older I get! I just hope I can be confident enough to get out there and do what I have to do... even if it is only 3 minutes or less! All that preparation for a fleeting moment in time, but that fleeting moment lasts a lifetime in memory and the experience of it will be to me, a drug-like intoxication. Just that one fix to keep me going for another year - and then I might want to do it again. Who am I kidding, the second it's all over I'll want to do it all over again!!! It's just too much fun J